she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Do vagina's smell?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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