Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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