I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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