If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
