You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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