Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
A+ Viking dick
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
