well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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