I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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