high people should be assigned attendants
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
