So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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