shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
