So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
