So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
