I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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