so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
