Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
