God, you're like boner-b-gone
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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