I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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