You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
