Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
