Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
