She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i think i have two assholes
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
