Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
