i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
