she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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