This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
