Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
