cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
