You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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