Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
