That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
