Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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