I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
