so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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