I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
