So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
