I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
