also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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