i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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