dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
