Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
