They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
