i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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