i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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