im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I supernannyed him into submission
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
