ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
