I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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