he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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