It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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