yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
