about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
