Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
